This too shall pass

by me

When I am struggling, when I am dragging, when every movement requires monumental effort, it is easy to sink into despair. What I try to remember is a most important truth: this is temporary.

During the first big devastation I did not realize that. It felt permanent. Ongoing and never-ending. No escape. But after I crawled out of that hole, I realized there was an “outside” of it. And during the next crashes I knew I only had to hold on long enough for it to pass. It wasn’t going to last forever. Just hang on tight, relief is coming soon.

The same rules go for happiness. When I feel joy I often mistrust it. What does this mean? What’s going to go wrong to sabotage it? When’s it going to end? I know it will end. I am sad when I am happy, because I know it won’t last. Sometimes I am angry when I’m happy. Why give me a taste of ease just so you can take it away. Why remind me of how feeling good is like, just so I can miss it and long for it when it’s gone.

But thinking this way is a sure fire way to end the happiness before it can even really begin. So I have given myself a goal. Like a piece of delicious chocolate, I want to fully savor the good moments. Close my eyes and taste it on my tongue. Memorize its nuances and embrace it completely. Hold it in my heart, in a place of timelessness, so that when it is gone I can come back there and remember it’s possible, and work to bring it back again.

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